One of our weekends was filled with meeting new people, outings and visits. Apparently it was "too much" for the boys and we paid the price for all of it on that following Monday and Tuesday. Life was not fun on those two days and I ended up in tears on my kitchen floor. We have learned that our boys are easily overstimulated when it comes to people. When that happens, they regress back into some of the very actions and behaviors that we have been working hard to correct. And believe me, it is work. It is constant. It is draining physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. That Tuesday took all that was within me to whisper a prayer for patience and peace. My deliverance came through our sweet 17 yr. old daughter who was able to play with her brothers for a few minutes while I retreated to my bathroom and pulled myself together. Well, I should say pulled myself together emotionally. I forgot how a mom of young kids feels quite a bit of the time....disheveled....unkempt....wrinkled....I think you get the idea. I miss feeling "put together". When I see my friends, I find myself thinking how beautiful they look...how good they smell....how great their hair looks....how their clothes are not wrinkled....and the list goes on. I wish I would have looked in the mirror that day a bit longer. After I pulled myself together, we were off to the one and only pharmacy that could fill a rare prescription. Yep, located as far north in Ames as possible which means driving clear across town...only to be sitting in the pharmacy drive through and hear the word "sooba" (potty). Seriously? You've got to be kidding. So, the game of diverting began. If you've ever had little ones, you know the game. "Wow, look at that guy riding his bike! There's a dog! A motorcycle! BIG truck!" You make the most ordinary, mundane things that you see out the car window into the most interesting, wonderful things EVER...or at least until you can safely reach your sooba destination.
Destination Target reached. Everyone dry. Check. Get into the store quick so that two boys can sooba. Check. Check. A short trip around Target (probably 15 minutes) for the bare necessities. Check. All is going good so I tell Jenna that she can look through the clothing section if she'd like. We stroll probably 20 steps into that section and I hear Tate say, "soomba". Seriously? I've got to be on Hidden Camera. You just went sooba 15 minutes ago and now you want to claim, "soomba"? I unstrap Tate and tell Jayden that he can stay in the cart with Jenna. He nods his head "no"..."soomba". Yeah, right. I feel like it's a ploy to get out of the cart. I tell Jayden, "you don't need to soomba". He nods his head "yes" to say he does. I unstrap him while Tate is pleading "soomba". On our way to bathroom I see someone I know. I am relieved that she's talking on the phone because I know that if anyone talks to me right at that moment, I'm going to lose it and tears will start (I've had two bad days, ya know!). Two soombas happen. Check. Check. We head over to wash hands. I look in the mirror and some woman is looking at me. She looks really tired, her hair is a mess and her make-up needs refreshed. She's kind of in a daze and I don't speak to her for fear of making her cry. I notice that she has lasagna spots on her wrinkled shirt...poor gal. She turns away from the mirror as a little boy pulls on her shirt and stretches his arms up to be held. She lifts him up and turns to the mirror while another little boy slips his hand in her open hand. The daze in her eyes leaves and I can see clearly...that mess of a woman is me. And then God whispers that He loves me....that He loves my little boys....my family of 6...and that He will renew me and give me the strength for all the days ahead. And then I smile.