Hebrews 12:1-2
"...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith..."

Monday, January 3, 2011

Call Me Crazy

We have received only positive reponses from everyone regarding our adoptions.  We are grateful and have been so encouraged by all of you.  In all those responses, there as been one one word that has been used over and over.    This one word has been said in various tones, expressions and deliveries...."WOW!" 

The "wow" responses make me laugh now but I haven't always laughed.  For a time, Satan tried to use them to make me doubt--twisting that little word into one big lie after another.  When someone said "WOW", my mind heard:

"WOW, are you guys crazy?"
"WOW, do you remember how old you guys are?"
"WOW, are you having a mid-life crisis or something?"
"WOW, are you going to have enough energy for that?"

See, I am really, really selfish.  I was really liking my life.  Our kids are pretty independent now which allows me freedom and I love that freedom!  So, I began to think, "WOW, I'm going to have to give that all up!"  But there was something in me that was bigger than any argument I could make against adoption.....

Luke 14:26 says,
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother,his wife and children,
his brothers and sisters--
yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple."

Luke 9:23
"Then he said to them all:  "If anyone would come after me,
he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

In order to be a disciple of Christ, I need to give up my life--my WHOLE life.  Please understand that when it says that we must "hate" all these things, it doesn't mean it in the sense of disliking or showing hostility towards them.  What it does mean is that these things must come second to or after our devotion to Christ.  I realized that I was loving my life to the point that I was putting Christ second....when I had time....if I felt like it...if He fit into my schedule I was giving him the bits and pieces of leftovers, not my WHOLE life.  My plans, my schedule came first.  As I confessed that sin, God helped me see the truth to those underlying "WOW" lies:

We are not crazy.  It makes complete sense to Him.
We do remember how old young we are.  We're way younger than Abraham and Sarah.
We are not having a mid-life crisis.  They say 40's is the new 30's, right.
Energy...well, we will take a lot of naps.  :)  

I know that doing what He asks of me--being HIS disciple--is far more freeing than the freedom in life that I was pursuing.  I have to deny myself, pick up the cross daily and follow Christ....even when it looks crazy to the rest of the world.  So, call me crazy if you want to.



3 comments:

  1. As I was reading your post I felt so guilty. Russ and I considered adoption a few months ago. I even went as far as talking to a social worker, checking on websites for international adoptions vs. domestic, etc. Those same crazy thinking was going through my own mind: am I going through mid-life crisis, do I really want to start over again? what will my family think? I am sorry to say I talked myself out of adopting. My reasoning was, I am just too selfish right now. I applaud you for following God's direction. I wish you many blessings in this new direction. I will be reading your blog faithfully. I love you, my friend.

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  2. Perfectly said Lisa....I went back to that 'take up his cross daily' verse over and over in our adoption journey....it sort of became the anthem in my mind when those doubts would sneak back in. Loved this post!

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  3. Love these words! I needed this!
    We all have our own reasons for why this journey will be uncomfortable . . . no matter what the reason, the answer is always to follow Him! Thanks for this confidence today!

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