Exciting news!! We are adopting two children internationally!! I think the first thing that many people are curious about is how did we come to THIS decision at THIS point in our lives? Our response is simply, "GOD".
God was directing His plans through my husband and, at the same time, He was graciously preparing me to follow Kurt's lead. Each year we purpose to get away as a couple and this past September--in Branson, Missouri--Kurt shared his heart. God was convicting him that we have not been living our lives as Christ has called us to. Then, through tears, he shared that he felt God was calling us to international adoption.
I loved the idea of adopting...until I saw how much it cost...and then it scared me to death.
It didn't take much to decide that we couldn't afford adoption. It would drain what savings we had and we would still be far short of what we needed. "Thanks, but no thanks, God. Count us out." After deciding that we couldn't afford it, there were many, many sleepless nights. We were wrestling in our hearts because something didn't feel right. Our next thoughts went to foster care. We would still be able to minister to orphans and perhaps God would even give us the opportunity to adopt through it. We decided to "go for it", went to a meeting and turned in all of our paper work. Peace doesn't come when you try to make your own path of obedience. That same night, Kurt shared that he was struggling with our decision. He said that although foster care is good, he knew we would be disobeying God if we took that path. When he said it, I was irritated, frustrated and angry. I knew deep in my heart and soul that he was right. God had been convicting me but I was scared. God was peeling back layers and revealing sin in my life...and I didn't like it.
I would have told you that I never had a love of money. Materialism seemed to fade for me when Brooke died and I realized that there was so much more to life. For me, the sin wasn't what money could buy but rather the security it brought. And now, God was asking me to give up that security and place it all in Him. He reminded me of His past faithfulness to us in things far bigger than money and of His love for us. At that point, I knew that I could trust Him and I surrendered saying, "Okay, God. You have been faithful to us before and I know you will be faithful again. I trust you and I love you."
There is nothing that can compare to the peace that comes in being obedient to God. We know that our journey ahead will not always be easy but we know that God will always be with us. He is good and faithful.
I will end this post in saying that in order to protect our adoption process, I will not be sharing any personal information on the blog. I am not able to state what country we are adopting from and we have decided not to name the adoption agency which we are working through. We are happy to discuss this information in person but MUST refrain from any mention of it in blogs or facebook. Thank you for your consideration of this.